Searching my heart.

Hello out there.

Today I am really searching my heart, hard. You see, I am supposed to go to Haiti for a week in March. I signed on with a group run by a friend of mine through a local university; paid for my tickets last Sunday. Most in the group were going to do a general building project for a school in the desperately poor neighborhood of Cite Soleil; I was potentially going to work in a clinic there as an RN, though the details hadn't yet been worked out. I would have been just as happy doing building work. Now, of course, the situation on the ground in Haiti is drastically changed from just a few days ago, and I find that I am torn with regard to whether or not to take the trip. Many people have encouraged me not to go; others have said I should wait and see what happens before I make my decision; the group leader still fully intends to make the trip. What I wonder is this: how much good can a group of volunteers who are novices to post-disaster work actually do? And how much would we be getting in the way of the professionals and using up resources needed for the people already there? Haiti is not an easy country to work in even in normal times; this much I have gathered from reading the words and works of people who have been there for years. It will be even more difficult to get things done in the weeks and months to come. On one hand, if I can do some real good, I need to go. On the other hand, though I have a fair amount of experience working in developing countries, I have never worked in a situation anything close to that in Haiti right now. It seems more appropriate to me to give whatever financial support I can to organizations with experience in this type of post-disaster scenario (Partners in Health, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross) than to insert myself into a situation wherein I might be more of a liability than a help. I will be talking to the project leader this weekend. We shall see what happens.

More to come...

Hello again, quiet world. I think I'm back again, after nearly a year. Going away till the new year... but I've been feeling the tug of desire to write again, however humbly and to whatever size an audience. Meanwhile, I wish any who come along happy holidays and a safe and healthy new year!

Seven months later....

Been a long while, no? This is the view out the back door of my present abode - top to bottom is north to south. Not sure these shots really convey the beauty, but I'll keep trying! New camera, more complicated; new life... somewhat less so. I'll check in again soon.

PICTURES! YES, AGAIN! (she shouted)

The apple blossom edition of my photography madness. Unfortunately, all of these photos were taken on a grey day; I think they "pop" better visually when there's a blue sky. Oh well! Let us proceed with the huge pile of apple tree photos, then (warning: there will be uninspired captioning because I'm in a hurry to get back out to the orchard - lots and lots and lots AND LOTS of work to do):

Fuji variety

Down a row

Apple blossom buds

Side view of apple blossom buds

And more buds!

And... more.

Down another row

Flowers!

You guessed it - flowers again!

Loveliness. I don't care how many times you see this sort of thing - the delicate beauty and the sweet scent of these blooms is something to be celebrated and adored, even if it means taking a gazillion pictures of the very same thing.

Small break in the flowery madness - a random shot of the garage here at work, apple buckets and all.

Close-up view

'Nother close-up

Aaaannnnd... another!

Alrighty, then. Now I can move forward in time when I have a moment. Moments are looking a bit scarce in the near future, given the list of tasks my boss gave me this morning plus the glorious fact (chagrin!) that school starts today yet again. It does seem to do that, doesn't it? Very annoying. This semester is only seven weeks long, though, so that's something.

So... I know it's been too long since I've commented on your blogs, though I've visited most of you. I'll try to make it up somehow, some way, at some point! Meanwhile, as usual, I wish you all the best. More perhaps on the morrow. Ta.

Yes. More photos.

Plum blossoms

And again.

Catkins in the hedgerow

Up.

Workload. Fun! Seriously.

Youthful Virginia creeper leafies.

Grape buds with the usual grapevine twistiness in the background. I ask you, how can you not take pictures of such spirally beauty?! Ahem.

Pear blossoms

...and more pear blossoms. I was leaving on vacation shortly before I took these photos, so I had no choice as to the grey weather. They probably would've looked prettier with a blue sky behind them, but... oh well. And I think they're pretty anyway, and I also like a nice grey sky, so... um... there.

Well, that's it from me for the weekend. I hope you all are well, and have good things to do. I shall be doing housework, reading as much non-textbook material as I can stuff into my brain (and believe me, it's a prodigious amount), and other random things. I will kiss my cat probably several hundred times (poor baby!), I will water my few plants, and I will try to be grateful for the good things in my life. I'm a bit of a grabby, nongrateful type if I don't watch out for it. Ta, then, until Monday.

Random photos

I have a gazillion or so more tree blossom photos to get up here - which needs to be done post haste, given that bloom time is well past at this point! - but I wanted to get these random shots out of the way first. They won't be all that exciting to you, I'm guessing, but I want them up for myself. The nature of blogging is rather self-centered, so that's alright by me. Without further ado:

Pear tree with kaolin application

Same as above, from a distance

Yes, I know. More grape vine stuff.

And more!

Reflection

Up the hill, west entomology block

Down the hill to the lab

Cedar-apple rust lesion

And another. Alien-looking, aren't they?

Looking out to the north 40

Alrighty, then. Those are some of the random photos I'm getting out of the way before I end up publishing spring photos in September. I'm already way behind; my camera is full of more current stuff.

First off, I want to apologize if I've gotten way too personal for you readers of late. I'm not taking down anything I've written, because it adds to the whole of the text, so to speak, but I'll try not to go there again. I know I've already said this, but I wanted to reiterate. My aim wasn't to denigrate M., it was to support myself. That doesn't need to be done online, necessarily, so - I'm sorry.

In other news... there really isn't any. Work is very busy, as usual, and school starts on Monday. The highlight of my day thus far was watching three pairs of birds (grackle, starling, and mockingbird) verbally harrass and take swoopy dives at a pair of crows. The noise level was astonishing - and somehow really fun to hear - and the attacks made me laugh. I know it's serious business for the smaller birds, given the crows' tendency toward nest-raiding... but such things make me smile anyway. The crows were finally driven off, after much ado. It was a wonderful drama to behold. Well, on that note... I'm signing off for now. I probably won't have time to write again till Monday, so - happy weekends to you all! Ta.

More spring, belatedly.

Ok, I did try to put these pictures in an order that makes sense, but I messed up my posting order and I really don't have time to correct it. That I am posting at all is a small miracle, and I'm sure I'll end up regretting the time spent at some point! At any rate, more spring stuff. Peaches, this time.

Row of peach trees pre-bloom.

Out-of-the-timeline photo. This was supposed to come later in the series, but here it is, in all of its glory! It really is pretty, isn't it?

Back in time again to the bud stage!

More buds.

Another shot like the out-of-order one above.

Flowers!

An inexplicable shot of my feet. On a rock. Yay!

Peach flower close-up. Can you see how lucky I am to work here, getting to see this each season? (this is my last season here, as far as I know, which makes me very sad.)

Aaaaannnnd.... more peach blooms!

Now for something completely different: maple keys on a grey day. Don't ask. I don't know why I put it here.

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So - hi there. I don't have much to say, nor much time to say it in. School starts next week, something that I am simultaneously glad for (the sooner I'm done, the sooner I'm done, after all, plus I get to see my friends again) and not glad for (will I have the ability to do well when my home life is in an uproar? Am I terribly cold to even be thinking that way? And also - yuck. I am so tired of studying. Or, more to the point, because I do love learning - I am so tired of taking tests). Work is very busy, which is good. Other than those things, I have nothing to add that wouldn't dive back into the realm of the Too Personal, so I shall sign off. I hope to have some time to write tomorrow or Friday. Meanwhile, best to you all.

Spring

Apricots

Pretty, eh? I think so. I'll try to mete out my flower pictures - wait till I get to the apples, I was out of control with those guys!. Anyhow - pretty.

I'm going to make an announcement that will surprise exactly no one: things are once again bad in my relationship with M. Horrible, in fact. Henceforth, though, I am not going to be talking about it here. It serves no one, and it's just ugly to put it out there. I'll leave up what I have up, but no more after this. Whatever happens will happen, and I will probably allude to it because major changes are in order one way or the other. However, no more details, no more moaning and complaining. He doesn't deserve it, and it feels wrong to talk about these things so publicly. So - there you have it.

That's all for now. Ta.