What would Buffy do?Yes, that's right - I'm a big fan of the series. Huge, even. Thankfully, I don't write fanfic or draw horrific pastels of my heroes from the show... I just really enjoy the sharp writing, the kick-ass female characters, and the pretty, pretty people.
I've been feeling very low for the past few days. My thoughts have gone places they haven't visited in awhile, wherein self-harm was starting to seem like a fine idea. Those are escapist thoughts, though, and won't do anything but hurt me and the grand human beings who for whatever reason love me. I have felt angry too, helplessly so. Enraged would be a more appropriate term. I've been all over the map of negative emotions, each one darker than the last - and it's just this sort of emotional chaos that leads to bad decisions and unhealthy behavior. And that's not the place I want to be. Standing in the shower this morning, trying to think my way out of this mental bedlam, it occurred to me - what would Buffy do? She would probably make mistakes, but she would move forward, and she would kick ass. At the risk of sounding like a 14 year old fangurrl, I think I'll take her example. The character was written to be strong, funny, vulnerable, action-oriented, adaptable, quick-witted - and human. I could learn from worse heroes.
I'm not discussing the details of why I'm in the midst of such a morass because it just wouldn't be prudent. In the grander scheme of things, it doesn't even really matter. What's important is that I learn from my mistakes, grow stronger and wiser, and keep trying to do my best. When I fall down (or, for that matter, get kicked across the room into a wall), I just need to get back up again. And that's what I'm doing now. After all, that's what Buffy would do.
5 comments:
And that's all we can all do!
I visited your blog to thank you for your comment and WOW! I have never watched "buffy" so my first thought was--what a beautiful woman---and what the hell is that in her hand??? I love the idea "wwbd"...I think you should sell some of those rubber bracelets! It would be nice if we could all remember that there will be the down times, and that we can still survive and kick ass...
hang in there!
Awesome. I would far rather model myself on Buffy than Jesus. Although he kicked butt, too, when required, he didn't wear such great clothes!
That is a great attitude, Ms. Anne! Good for you. (I liked Buffy, but I LOVED Alias.)
I am so sorry you're feeling so down. And I'm so sorry about your friend's mom. My heart goes out to your friend and her family.
Feel better, you.
Thanks for stopping by Anne. You said you wanted to be comfortable in your own skin in your comment on my post. I think part of that comes with age, which doesn't help much but I think it is true. I have wrinkles, gray hair, varicose veins, stretch marks and a pot belly but I feel better about my body now than when I was 20. I think that also happens with the mental stuff. I don't know if we ever get to a place where we're done, that's it, that's who I am. I think we grow and learn and change all our lives and that all we can really do is do our best, right now. We can't change the past, we have to let go of it, we can't change the future but we can learn something everyday, that includes learning from all of our mistakes, successes, everything. We are the sum of all our experiences, even the bad stuff.
Hang in there and be kind to yourself.
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