my messy, messy office space.
afternoon's project: scrubbing dirty test tubes! fun!
whiteboard, bookcase, and etcetera
inside one of the lab refrigerators
south end of my lab
north end of my lab
random lepidoptera collection, entomology lab
flood from autoclave, because yours truly walked away from it while filling and got distracted. probably by something completely inane. was alerted to flood by the sound of water splashing on the floor. genius.
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So, there you have it - a mini-tour of my lab, in all its low-tech glory! Missing are shots of the microscope room, the cold rooms where the fruit is stored, and the women's restroom.
So... on the topic of superheros? I have decided that I need to be one, or at least give it a try. My life is out of control right now, and I'm downright sick of it. I have neglected my emotional, spiritual, and physical health for months on end. I am out of shape, chubby, sad, dispirited, and in serious danger of declining into yet another dark depression. My relationship with M. sucks in a big way, I haven't been a good friend - or even a lame-ass friend - to a number of people I really care about, and I have given less than my best to every single aspect of my life. I feel like a failure, and I'm really frustrated with myself for allowing life to just *happen* to me. I know better than that. I need to get with it. I have done this sort of thing all my life - I go through these brief enthusiastic phases when I try for a time to change everything bad about myself and my life. Inevitably, it peters out and suddenly I'm here again, right where I don't want to be. Maybe it'll be different this time. Or maybe it'll just be good to shake things up for a bit, try to take better care of myself and my loved ones for at least a little while. So - yeah. I'm going to aim for super hero - if I end up less than super but I still get something done? So be it. I'll jot down some plans for all to see tomorrow. Until then - ta, for now.
6 comments:
I think you need to put a curb on the "superhero" mentality and focus on one thing at a time. It's like dieting--if you try to change all of your bad eating habits all at once, you set yourself up for inevitable failure. Same goes for this.
The biggest thing right now, imho, is your relationship, because if you aren't happy with the person that you are living with, it's going to make it that much harder for other things to fall into place and for you to reach any peace of mind.
I kind of need the superhero imagery, though - it helps more than you know. I don't mean that I need to be perfect or run around with a big "S" on my chest...it's more about the visualization aspect of it. I'll explain it better later.
Meanwhile, I'm sure you're quite right about the relationship bit. Unfortunately.
Ah, I didn't realize you actually meant visual imagery of a superhero! That, I understand! I'll make you a cape with a big blue "A" on it!
Quit beating yourself up girl! Trying being kind to yourself sweetie.
If I could I would send you the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. If you have a chance to read over the holidays, I don't know what your holidays are like, busy or quiet, give it a shot.
Sending you a hug and I'm whispering in your ear, "There's nothing wrong with you."
You have plenty of those preserve butterflies? Can we exchange some? I collect those!
Here's what I'm working on in regard to this -- accepting that I'm ok. I'm not wrong. I am and I can let go of the whip I've been beating myself with in an effort to be a superhero. I'm working on accepting that I'm ok. I'm good as is. Letting it ride.
Let's try it Anne, Letting it ride.
Love, hugs and any strength I can muster!
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