This makes me SO MAD.

I am trying to find a counselor/therapist to talk through some stuff. First of all, I don't have access to a list of providers - I have to call the insurance company and talk to a complete stranger to get a list. This means, of course, that my account is flagged for "mental health and/or substance abuse counseling requested." This is something that I deem the most private of private medical scenarios - sensitive stuff. It's hard enough to seek help - when you have to go through an automated menu and end up with a stranger asking you if you are homocidal, suicidal, or abusing substances (and meanwhile, your call is being monitored or recorded), it's almost impossible. First of all, who is going to say, "Why yes! I think I might go on a reign of terror through my town, then kill myself, and oh by the way excuse me while I chug this tequila shot and shoot up!" Who is going to say that? And no, just for the record, I'm not considering any of those things. Second, the person on the other end of the line gives me a random list of providers - when I ask what specialties they might practice, either I am forced to tell this perfect stranger what it is I want to talk about (no thank you), or I just roll the dice. It's a shitty way to get mental health care. It's difficult enough to come to a point wherein you decide to try to help yourself - the barriers that are put in your path are simply too much. I am steaming mad. Also - let's say you do have a substance abuse problem, something I have in fact wrestled with now and again (alcohol, not drugs, and it's not a problem right now)... what is my motivation for telling someone I've never met, over the phone, during a potentially recorded conversation, something that my insurance company will forever hold against me? And something that future employers could ostensibly find out? There is no motivation for me to help myself in this instance - none. It's called "Alcoholics ANONYMOUS" for a reason - if you're trying to seek help, the last thing you need is a faceless fucking bureaucracy learning about something like that. Man, am I angry. I know our healthcare system sucks - this is just one of the myriad ways. Alrighty, then. Thank you for listening. More later. ______________________ Edited to add: Apologies for the foul language. I was pretty pissed off when I wrote this. I've been cooling down (mentally, anyhow - it's hot and humid outside, ick) up in the orchard, being entertained by a pair of mockingbirds. Oh, and pruning root suckers on apple trees. I managed to track down a counselor, I think. The receptionist at the practice said she could match me up with one of their counselors if I gave her a few details about what it is that's troubling me. I didn't mind doing that with her - I just don't need to be sharing those details with my insurance company or the state of NY. Man, do I hate big government and other assorted bureaucracies. At any rate, they're supposed to call me back sometime today or tomorrow. More later. Ta.