These guys are growing in the hort greenhouse, acting like it's fall instead of February.
Not a spectacular photo, but I like the twininess of the vines. Again in the hort greenhouse - vines running amuck in there!
Just a piece of grass that caught my eye. The spiral kinda-sorta recalls the spiralling of the wires behind it.
Soybeans in the entomology greenhouse, originally grown as food for stinkbugs. Now they're just deceased, as are the bugs.
Queen Anne's Lace, all curled into a pretty little ball. Pretty to me, anyhow - I have a different definition of pretty than most.
Yet another shot of goldenrod. This plant was growing in the horticulture greenhouse. I have a weakness for goldenrod, as seen in previous photos.
A really dorky picture of me and my Shelby. It's no glamor shot of me, and I know it's blurry, but I love how you can see her butting her head up against mine. I'm not kidding when I say she's one of my closest friends. She's my baby.
Thank you all for listening to my dad-related issues, both rant and retraction. He's always been a central figure in my life. Back when I was a toddler, he was in pharmacy and then dental school. Instead of imitating my mother (doing the traditionally female role at that time - cooking, cleaning, etc.) by playing house, or with dolls, I used to heave my dad's giant science books up on my lap and pretend to take notes from them before I could even read or write (I just scribbled on pieces of paper). I remember seeing some kind of horrifying images well before I really understood them - I recall, for example, a photograph of a child who had bitten through an electrical cord. The picture was from an oral pathology book, and the child had died as a result of the incident. His or her whole face was shown. I'm sure my parents had no real idea of what I was looking at or comprehending - they were good parents. Anyway... I'm digressing. I always wanted to be like my dad, always. From my very first memories. I'm not sure why that is - I adore my mother; she is strong and funny and beautiful and sensitive and smart. I appreciate that more every day. However, I was always completely enamored of my father. He was my hero. He wasn't an easy hero at all. This bit that you've just seen, with my outrage and then my retraction? That's happened always and forever. He hurts me and I hate him, and the very next day, he's himself again and I love him fiercely. I am learning to accept this, despite my recent freakout. I am a lot like him - I'm sure there's no shortage of people in or out of my life who would say the very same thing about me. I'm a jackass one day, and then I'm wonderful the next. I know this about myself. I'm just now starting to make the connection, though, and understand what I have done to people in my life over the years. Hmmm.
Well, that's it for my introspection for the day, on paper at any rate. Sometimes I'm kind of surprised at what comes out of my mouth - today's entry is one of those surprises. I am sorry for the people I have hurt with my capriciousness and my ridiculous moods. I really am.
Time to get back to work. Until later, ta.
p.s. click on the photos - especially the soybean one - to see gorgeous detail. just saying!
3 comments:
Love love love the kitty headbutt! I never realized soybeans were so hairy nor goldenrod so poofy. The QAL is really cool; reminds me of those little critters that curl up in a ball and roll off like tumbleweed. Regarding the introspection, it's good that it comes in spurts because it would be so draining otherwise. I have the same good guy/bad guy thing going on. It gets better. When you understend it, you can see it for what it is, not be a victim of it. That saves others and you, in the end. Remember, it's a process.
I kind of swing back and forth between jackass and sweetheart myself. It's hard because then I have to apologize and I hate apologizing. You'd think I would have gotten used to it over the years but I haven't.
Take care girl.
Hey you, Pretty young thing,
It's always a rude awakening when our parent’s behaviors strikes us as being so ... well, not parent like, but human and faulty. We expect so much from people we love. We expect so much from ourselves. This I'm learning this fact from many of my students--I've been building closer bonds recently with smaller classes- The closer we get to each other, the more trust shared-- the more careless we can be, and lashing out, happens-- the coolest thing is that forgiveness happens just as quickly, and all is forgotten.
Keep breathing—moving forward,
Love to you!
Post a Comment