Entrance to a local park that I love.
So. Hi there. (twiddles thumbs, looks bored...) I don't really have much to say right now. Things are same-old same-old around these parts. I am on spring break, which is nice - no going to school this week. It hasn't really felt like much of a break, though. Monday I was at the vet with Shelby until nearly 8 pm (vet was running very late; she's fine, but I am going to have two small masses removed surgically from her in May. Yikes.), and last night we were at city hall from 7 to 9:30 pm at a property reassessment meeting. Our city just went from a 24% assessment to 100% assessment and our taxes are going to increase by over $700. In my opinion, they were already way too high. Suck. I hate this state sometimes. The government is an enormous, obscene bureaucracy and the tax burden is just astonishing. And yay, Eliot Spitzer, you giant jackass! Feh. M. adamantly refuses to move anywhere else, ever. Blah blah blah, etcetera.
Things on the relationship front are also the same, which is to say not very good. We exist together but that's about it. I miss having someone care for me - I miss gentleness and tenderness. If I'm totally honest with myself, I have to say M. was never those things from the beginning. He did try. It's been a few years since he did, though. This may sound silly and overly romantic, but I miss someone simply touching my arm softly, or my hair; someone stroking my skin or kissing my forehead, touching my face, holding my hand. I have often claimed not to need such things, but I find that I sort of do need them. Or want them, anyway. Simple things like this. I don't long for anything more than that; just these little things. Sigh.
Man, do I sound like a loser. Pathetic. I feel as though all I ever do is complain. My apologies. I have to stay focused on the things I can do that are helping me - doing well in school and getting my degree, and continuing with the mental health improvement. Speaking of which, I forgot to take my meds again today. Never fear - I have decided to keep some of my pills here at work for just such a dilemma, so I shall take them now.
Bleh - this entry is dull and depressing. I shall sign off until tomorrow, after I have snapped myself out of this pity party act. Ta for now.
1 comment:
I don't think it's at all pathetic to want the little things. I find I need them too, and I get them from "my gay boyfriend". He's actually my best friend, but since I'm still without a man, he fills in nicely with the hugs, arm over the shoulders, just the plain strenthg that a man can give off. So don't beat yourself up for wanting what really, I feel, should come with a relationship! Hang in there, sweet girl!! :]
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