02 January 2007
Line across the notes
I mentioned this phrase once on my first blog, I think - it was uttered all the time by one of my undergrad biochemistry professors to indicate a shift in the topic. That's what I'm doing here, sort of. My relationship with M. is changing in some fundamental ways, I think, and I feel the need to keep it mostly to myself - out of respect to both of us, really. I've been rather querulous lately and I don't like my tone. While my feelings are legitimate, I'm not happy with the way I've been expressing them. I'm not helpless and I should stop acting that way. I may talk a bit about how things are going, given that the relationship is a central part of my life, but only when it really seems relevant to what I'm trying to say here. As I've said below, this is a year for change.
And so:
______________________________________________
Line across the notes.
I'll sign back in later. I hope your new year's celebrations were happy and safe!
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6 comments:
Hi, you left a comment on my blog and I thought I would return the favor. You said you found me on True Wife Confessions, pretty wild place isn't it?
I was reading some of your posts, one in particular about a "M" and how he's angry all the time and you don't know why. Sounds like your father is like that too.
I grew up in a household where my father was always angry as well. I realize now that I'm grown up, sort of, that he used his anger as a defense. When you're angry you don't have to think about anything else, anger is like a fire, all consuming. But the anger also keeps everyone away. It's a dangerous defense mechanism, I know because I did the same thing for years. I'm only now coming to terms with my own anger and dealing with it.
I read a book recently called "The Four Agreements" which helped me, one of many, many books I've read in the past year. The four agreements are as follows: be impeccable in your work, don't take things personally, don't assume and do your best. Sounds simple but it's not. The don't take things personally helps a lot.
Right now my husband is angry and disappointed with our middle daughter so there is a black cloud hanging over the house but I'm not taking it personally. I'm sorry he feels that way but it's not my fault.
Anyway, I seem to have run on. I'll be back.
Thank you, Deb. Thank you.
"Line across the notes"....I like that.
I understand you wanting to be respectful and it's good that you're taking accountability into consideration with regards to how you express your feelings. I just hope you give yourself enough latitude to fully explore what you're feeling - even if, at times, it doesn't come out in the optimal way - and let yourself delve into the ugly side of emotions. Self examination is most fruitful, I think, when it's honest, and constantly filtering it to make it more palateable for others isn't always the best course for you.
Whether or not you listen to my inner Dr. Phil, I'm glad to see that you're feeling stronger and taking active steps to make the life you have the life you want.
happy new year!!! hope to get better acquainted this year..
I always love others' comments, but I just wanted to say it's good that you seem to be on the right track. Whether you want to spill your guts or keep things to a minimum, I don't think anyone here will be complaining.
"Line across the notes" made me laugh out loud. Profs can be such nuts. I hope things are going well for you. You're in my thoughts. I'm with L--I think it's mature and kind that you're ensuring you're respectful in your blog. But I also don't want you to deny yourself your feelings (which are valid). Take care, Anne!
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